Hands off.

Was telling Anwar that I consciously maintain a distance from my close male friends after they get married. And for that matter, after they are attached, too. (Then again, perhaps the distancing is mutual.) Anwar didn't see why there should be a change with friends who were already there before. To which he got a mini-lecture on "All Men are Bastards" and why I shouldn't be surprised that men don't see the need to "change" things. Guess he realised where that was coming from after I told him about Z Bastard (who, incidentally, just tried his luck again). Heh. But I digress :-D

At the very least, I maintain a physical distance and minimise contact points with the guy's body. I can still talk kok, make crass observations, and confide in my married male friends. But emotionally, I tend to pull back and lean less on them.

From my own perspective, as the girlfriend or wife, would definitely not be comfortable if my partner and his close female friends continued on the same level of physical and emotional intimacy. Nevermind if he already knew them from before -- though it would make it less of an issue for me. The way I see it, why would he need to seek or continue the same level of emotional support elsewhere if it exists in our relationship. (That is, if indeed, it does.) Remember a particular incident where I almost went ballistic when the bear told me, AND with a too-ready smile on his face, that Eve had brushed his stubble to feel what it was like. AND then, he proceeded to brush his own stubble over the next few days, WITH that same smile on his face. Man, I almost ground my teeth to their roots. Took me a while to accept that they would be spending a lot of time together as colleagues.

But maybe, that's just my own hang-up and insecurities.

Then again, maybe not. There was a brief period of time, when I re-established contact with Hans, after hmmm, almost 5 years, and started to exchange frequent SMS and ICQ with him. The bear didn't like it, and in addition to the black bear face with each SMS alert, have also caught him shutting down my ICQ with some waspish excuse that he needed to reboot. Bleah. Double standards. Men.